This newsletter you’re reading is the partial result of the commitment I made to myself on my daughter Nina’s birthday a few weeks ago in November.
That day, I decided I couldn’t live with myself any longer if I continued to write and then destroy my work. I committed to not only write AND publish my book, but also to resume my newsletter, and come through on various requests to contribute to other blogs. Enough dreaming, tiptoeing into it, creating, and then burning/deleting. I had ENOUGH of my own bullshit.
I made the decision and cast away any doubt as to whether or not I would do it. I threw down the gauntlet, which is an expression I rarely get to use, so I love it when I can. Usually, one throws down the gauntlet or issues a challenge, to another.
Embodying the writer I always wanted to be?! I was challenging myself.
$h*! or get off the pot, you could say. Andy Dufresne says it uber dramatically below:
It's a long story and I won't go into details (except to say: yes, I explored several avenues with IT professionals, and no, I did not back up to an external hard drive or to the cloud) but over the weekend, I lost a week's worth of progress on my book. I was calm and hopeful as I turned in my laptop to get fixed (under warranty, whew!) and was able to enjoy the weekend with no worrying. "the pros will handle this."
This afternoon, the pros let me know, MOST everything was recovered. MOST, not all. Along with the book chapter, I lost:
a guest post for my coach's blog
a draft for my newsletter
an introduction for a compilation book project
O.M.G.
I felt gutted. All that work... gone.
What did I do?! I was NOT a life coach, I’ll tell you that.
After crying my eyes out rather ungracefully and unleashing some spectacularly angry curses at myself, I got off the crazy train with the help of some friends I shared the news with.
I toyed with the idea of just giving up. The Universe put up a brick wall, see?!
Do you know how hard it is to write at length on your phone? Don’t worry, I’ll tell you ~ IT’S HARD. I strongly advise against it.
I didn’t give up. I kept writing, by hand. I had no idea where I left off on Chapter 1 but I figured that God… hmm no. The Universe? Nah. The Big Editor in the Sky, yes I like the sound of that! She didn’t like what I had written, so I started over. I kept my commitment, writing every day as I vowed I would.
In that thought process, I learned a lesson*. I saw that losing my work wasn't THE reality, it was ONE version of reality. The other version was that Edith, my Editor in the Sky, thought my rough draft was garbage and tossed it for me, sparing me the pain of having to submit it next week to Chas, my REAL LIFE editor, and having him tear it apart.
Oh, what a lesson in Alternate Realities. I learned this concept in working through Are You Ready to Succeed? by Srikumar Rao, buy it here! It’s a book that cannot just be read. It needs to be worked through, and I have the wonderful opportunity to do that work with my colleague Brandon Handley. I believe the Universe is rigged in my favor, and that this happened FOR me, not TO me.
So here’s a semi-recycled Facebook post, because writers can do that, y’know. So can you. Most of the time, it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to get done.
You know what to do. Whatever it is, that thing you know you need to do. Just get it done.
Imperfect, messy, late. It will be all that, and most importantly ~ it will be DONE.
Remember to email me, I love hearing from you!
Talk soon,
Aileen
*and of course, I learned to resume my old habit of backing up to an external hard drive and to the cloud #duh