Welcome to the 20th issue of Inward Ventures (!) my weekly share of what I’m working on and fiddling around with. I share thoughts and ideas I come across in my continuing quest for self-improvement, productivity, and education for myself and my coaching clients. I strive to excel in my writing, creativity, and, well… LIFE. Thanks for being here. Ok, let’s get down to brass tacks.
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Ask, and ye shall receive!
A friend asked me to write about getting motivated to exercise. Have a topic request? Leave a comment or reply to this email + gimme some time = I gotchu.
Write about working out?! Of course!
Then I paused for a sec, as I do when I commit before considering. 😱
This can be a good thing, my natural bias towards action helps me to execute plans, but it can be negative too. Shooting first, asking questions later isn’t always appropriate, and sometimes the pause before action reveals more information or feedback that helps refine the necessary action. I’m working on my discernment with which to implement and when. 🧐
The following paraphrases my conversation with my friend.
Well, tell me more. Why do you think you need motivation for exercise?
Because I’m having a hard time sticking with it. I know I should be exercising, but I don’t want to.
Hmm. Well, it sounds like you think you should be exercising. Why?
I know it’s good for me; I need to do it for my health.
Need to do it? Well. that’s not a very good motivator, feeling like you NEED to do something (I’m thinkin’ I say “well” wayyyyyyy too much 😂)
The following applies to:
anything that has you draggin’ your butt and/or feel you SHOULD be doing or have a bad ‘tude about
Change one word.
Need - - > Get
Changing one word can set you free from “should” and “need to” where you’re on the defensive ➡ and moves you to a place of opportunity and power where you have the ball, playing offense. ☝🏼
When it comes to exercise, you can look at it two ways, you NEED to do it, OR you GET to do it. Which one feels better?
If you’re reading this, that means you’re alive. #duh. But that means you have the GIFT of life, this gift that many lose without a moment’s notice. You have the ability to go outside and breathe in the shifting spring air, move your body around/
It’s corny, yeah, I know. So what? 🤷♂️ Corny works; try it.
You GET to care for your family. Someday, they’re not going to be around Morbid? Yep. Also true.
You GET the chance to move to a new place. So it’s going to be hard; what else is new? Life is neither easy nor fair. Run with it!
You GET to work on your relationship. With yourself and your partner.
You GET to improve your skillset. (My friend Amy says something like, “if you’re not green and growing, you’re ripe and rotting.” I like that!)
You GET to decide if you want to change your mindset. You don’t have to. I mean, you *can* keep thinking you HAVE to do XYZ and feeling burdened and/or put upon.
PSSST! Wanna know a secret?
I don’t always feel like working out.
I don’t always want to follow my nutrition plan (all the protein! 😱)
I don’t always want to park my butt and write.
Do I get down on myself about any of that? For the most part, no. (that took a lot of effort.) I recognize those feelings are normal to experience, aren’t my normal outlook on them ANNNNND that I don’t HAVE TO (need to/should) do any of them.
I get to do them ~ for my health, for the body composition I want, for the dreams I want to be fulfilled.
Two days from now will be my brother John’s 8th anniversary. I often describe him as my twin, to impart the significance he had (still has) in my life.
He was a gym rat like me. He doesn’t have the chance to screw around in his favorite place. I do. He doesn’t have the chance to swallow his fears and pursue whatever was nagging at him. I do. I’m here, and I GET the chance to be brave, move to where I’m comfortable and happy to live, e with the people I love and appreciate, doing what I love to do. Morbid? Maybe. Motivating? Absolutely.
Applying it across the board
Ok Ms. Annoying Optimist LOL what about: the job I hate, the relationship I’m in that’s not working, the illness I am dealing with the or [INSERT HIGHLY SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCE HERE]
Job: you GET the opportunity to decide to rise above whatever challenge you’re facing and become proactive in dealing with it (like my inspiring bestie is doing at her new position - instead of staying with a feeling of awkwardness in a new role at a new company, she empowered herself to tackle the discomfort, reading and implementing (yessss! ACTION!) ideas from The First 90 Days. #likeaboss OR you get to look for a new job. You have options, always.
Relationship: you GET to work on yourself, deciding what it is you want. You get to decide what is worth your time and effort. You get to choose where your love goes. You get to stand up and leave the table when love is no longer being served. You get the chance to uncover why you started in the first place and what is really meaningful in your life. What an opportunity to grow, IMO.
Illness: This is tricky, but let’s try. You GET a chance to pare down to the essentials. You get the chance to see what (and who) is important in your life. You won’t have the time and energy for “all the things” anymore; I know that’s what my illness has taught me.
I have priorities and thresholds for what I can and cannot tolerate. Nothing like a good breakdown to make you realize you cant’ (and don’t need to) handle extreme amounts of stress. Selfish? Maybe. I’m takin’ a stand for selfishness here. I know my limitations better than anyone else, and another’s opinions of me doesn’t: take care of me, ease my pain, or help me in any way, so … 🤷♂️ #boundaries
Where do you go from here?
Well, where do you want to go? I mean, you CAN go on about your life, doin’ what you’re doin’. If nothing changes, nothing changes. That’s fine if you’re content with that.
But if you want to change? Be it different health outcomes, body comp, job performance, etc. then *something* has to change. What will it be?
You get to decide. It doesn’t matter to me if you exercise. You really don’t have to, and you don’t have to go to college, eat healthy, run a marathon, etc. None of those things.
You can change your mindset is where it begins. Changing one word, need ->get, is the place to start.
Next week, I’ll tell ya the next step: finding you're why (why am I doing this?)
Whatcha got for me? Please hit reply or comment below; I’ll gladly respond in more detail. As always, I promise I will do whatever I can to be there for you and to support you. HIT.ME.UP. I mean it! 🙌
Need an accountability partner? Writing (or working out or WHATEVER?) lemme know 😍 I trade daily word counts; it’s quick, fun, and motivating, I promise!
Thanks for sharing and forwarding my posts. I LOVE getting your emails with questions and little wins ~ you guys are the best! Keep the mail comin’! 💪🏼